As I move in and out of communities, when it comes to in-person meetups, the connection is stronger in that moment. So it makes me push “harder” for in-person meetups. However, in-person meetups come at a cost - financial and time.

Someone has to pay for the venue (even if the venue is “free”, it was sponsored) and in Singapore, space is expensive. Attendees generally expect some form of refreshments - drinks or food. I flipped that script, but that’s a story for another time.

The other cost being time. Someone had to spend time planning the meetup. Is that person compensated? Monetary or otherwise?

When attendees pay for an event, there’s perhaps an expectation of what the event can give them. As an event organiser, I can “lower standards” when the event is free, but when it’s paid…

As an attendee myself, I had been invited to attend a networking event of a few hundred dollars. In the end, I paid $100+ and provided some services in exchange. However, participating in an event while “working” at the event was a bit stressful for me, so I decided to never do that again. On reflection, I also realised that the luxuries that that event provided, which justified the $100+, weren’t luxuries that I wanted nor needed.

I attend events to understand attendee mindset, so that I can be a better organiser, or convenor of people.

The more events I attend and organise, the more I realise what types of persons I was, am and might be in future.

I realise that I enjoy connecting on my terms, in my time, at different scales and with care.

Perhaps the time has come to create a different type of community.

¯_(••)/¯

As life flows on, one of the poems that sometimes comes to mind is Desiderata. Dad gave me a printout of the poem before I left for Melbourne, Australia to study. I didn’t want to leave Singapore and felt distraught. The distraught might have been partly because I had just gotten into a new relationship and was sad to be far away.

The original printout from Dad has since vanished, likely thrown away. I made another printout and it’s framed in my room.

I received this poem when I needed it, but didn’t know what to do with it. It was many years later, when I realised the significance of the poem and it has since been a light in my life. Occasionally dim, occasionally bright. Adjusting brightness when needed.

Now, when reading the Dhamma, I notice the similarities between Desiderata and the Dhamma.

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann ©1927

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১

Concerned about how AI is being deployed in companies under the guise of “improving productivity”, somehow devolving into generating more issues in the company. The reversals will cost way more money, or the world lives with reduced quality of work.

The AI slop content is bad enough.

Brian Merchant [shares anonymous insider information of how AI killed the jobs of tech workers and how AI is enshittifying some companies](AI Killed My Job: Tech workers). A long read that lets us peek behind the curtains of some companies

⎛⎝( ` ᢍ ´ )⎠⎞ᵐᵘʰᵃʰᵃ.

Today, I feel more strongly that I’m shifting into speaking from my heart. Meaning that the speech is sincere and less filtered. There is some filter to protect the receiver. The intention is to speak with clarity and directness.

It feels unbelievably uncomfortable, though this lessens after practicing a few times. Sometimes it feels that I’m being hurtful to others, though I try to be as gentle as possible with my words.

Upon reflection, I realise that the gentleness of words is because I think the other person will perceive the directness too harshly. With people who can take the directness, there’s less gentleness. Haha.

Past me would be proud of me now.

ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

I originally half intended this blog for me to share internet links that I find interesting. Like a listicle of REAL SERIOUS KNOWLEDGE. (Wry face)

Somehow, it has spun into a blog-of-yore.

The kind of personal online public diary that I used to write when young.

The kind of diary where you truly get a peek into the conversations that I have with myself. And only myself.

I’m going to flow along with this and see how this pans out.

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

One of my close friends (a couple) used to live near me. Near enough for a short bus ride for me to crash their place or last minute meet up for a casual meal.

Being introverts, it helped that hanging out together wasn’t consuming our social energy, so we were ok to meet up semi-frequently.

Later on, they moved a farther bus ride away. This meant the last minute meet ups significantly decreased.

The spouse asked if we should move into the same apartment block as them, which resulted in them going, “you’re crazy. You can’t follow us moving around.”

Today, I attended a co-crafting / co-working session at a now in-person friend’s, previously Instragram friend, house. She opened attendance to the public, so I invited two friends who lived nearby-ish to join. A fifth person who saw the invite online, joined too.

As we all sat peacefully around the living and dining space, quietly crafting, doing work, occasionally breaking out into chatter, I realised that this was something I had been missing in my life. The chatter with neighbours.

Some of us brought items that we wanted to give away, one offered to share flour that she bulk bought, and another joyfully accepted. I recommended a mushroom and vegetables online shop, asking if anyone was interested to bulk buy, count me in. In the offers, we learned more about each other’s interests and lives.

It felt so neighbourly.

I felt so grateful. For the people and the space that came together.

What a beautiful two hours.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

It’s almost the end of 2025! I think about what has yet to be done and don’t feel as anxious as what I used to be. I know that I will get around to doing tasks in their time.

I have faith in myself. I am proud of my growth.

I have learned to be more in-line with my North Stars that are written in my journal when I write my journal.

I have dana-ed (given) more, even when I didn’t feel that I had enough to give. Then, I have received more back.

I started testing “happiness is my choice”, and I’m surprised at how simple and effective that has been. It doesn’t happen 100% of the time la.

I am grateful for the people that are/were in my life in 2025. I feel so blessed to be challenged and uplifted.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ ♡𓏧𓂃𓍯

Ending 2025 and starting 2026 by doing Susannah Conway’s Unravel Your Year 2026 workbook.

There’s many ways to reflect on 2025 and plan 2026. After noodling around so many, paying for some, joining online workshops, downloading SO MANY, I realised that the best one… is the one that I do to the end. Then execute.

Execute. There is no perfect one.

Here’s to encouraging you to start. Reflect on 2025 in order to plan 2026.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

I realise how much I learned (and remembered) from streaming on Twitch when I recently had to scramble to get into a semi-professional call.

I wanted to use a better camera than the laptop one and opted to use my phone’s camera. It took some slight technical wrangling, but it worked!

The dual-light setup, one light from Twitch days, is casting a fantastic glow.

Trying not to overdo this whole setup as it’s so easy to start spending money on bells and whistles. Focus on low hanging fruit and what’s important. Delivering value in the calls.

⊹ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ˖

Massive shoutout to the spouse for publishing a spreadsheet to calculate how much you would need to earn and invest for your retirement. It takes into consideration adjustable factors like age of retirement, salary, savings, CPF (for Singaporeans), etc.

I personally use it and have given strong feedback.

Go check it out!

Had and recovered from food poisoning on Boxing Day. Savage. Was so weak that I couldn’t even use the phone as I lay on the bed. Could only stare at the ceiling and wonder when this sickness would end.

As the “poison” exited me (I’m trying to be less graphic), I was very grateful that the spouse wasn’t mortified by whatever was coming out. He rushed from the other room, stood nearby and patted me. I’ve had stomach flu before and that was much worse. He had to help to clean me up.

That’s when I recalled a single friend asking me, “when do you know that he’s The One?” I think I muttered vaguely about, “there’s no The One, it’s a journey with a lot of work.” My current answer would be, “when he doesn’t flinch seeing you at your absolute worst or sickest, and still stands there to help and support you.”

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays!

It’s been a wild ride these past few days. But with hindsight, it led to me now. I laughed a lot, cried a lot, and entered 25 Dec with a glimmer of hope.

Today was a very chill day at home with the spouse and furkids. We woke late, had a slow morning, and very late lunch.

I cleared some certifications and did some finance planning. I love that working with finances doesn’t scare me as much now. That took many many years of mindset change and actually executing.

Since the US stock market is closed today, off to bed hopefully earlier!

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

I’ve been thinking about this post A Few Things I’m Pretty Sure About by Morgan Housel. Quoting a few things that he mentioned that I want to ponder more about:

You don’t have to know exactly what the future holds to know that some people will handle it better than others.

It’s easy to mistake getting attention for being right or being admired, especially on social media.

The most valuable personal finance asset is not needing to impress anyone.

A bigger problem than price inflation is expectations inflation: A constant increase in what you need to be satisfied.

I have no interest in anything that’s not sustainable. The key to success in so many areas of life is endurance and longevity.

The proper financial mindset is to be scared enough to save for the short run and brave enough to invest for the long run.

Projection is one of the most powerful forces, so be careful around those who tell you how honest and trustworthy they are.

Any amount of intelligence can be overridden by: ego, insecurity, immorality, bad incentives, or impatience, usually in that order.

Everyone hates a spoiled child and knows that child is socially ruined, but they themselves want easy money. Do you see the irony? Money you didn’t earn or work hard for quickly becomes a social liability.

The four most dangerous financial traits are: FOMO, an addiction to the appearance of certainty when none exists, impatience, and laziness.

Not caring about temporary things, and obsessing over permanent things, is underrated.

(╭ರ_•́)

Currently learning something that has frustrated me for ages. Starting from scratch and I’m reminded what it feels like to be a beginner all over again.

What keeps me going is knowing that this has upsides for me. The inner motivation that I have to do this for myself.

Telling myself to persevere as this will be a long and patient game.

I’m realising that the time needed to really get good at this requires a lot of focus and time. Dropped some priorities to find the time.

I’m reminded how that there is a finite number of hours in a day. The solution isn’t to work more, it’s to reallocate the time.

Once I decided to shift my environment, I feel motivated and joyful letting go of items. Previously there was this fear of, “it’s so wasteful to let go”, “what if I need it again”.

After three months, when I’ve had time and space to pause, reflect and think about what I want, then I know that I have to let go of the past in order to move forward.

I also acknowledge that letting go is a gradual process. So I give myself grace to move slowly. To celebrate the small wins with a selected tribe. When my critical internal voice comes out and chides myself for progressing slowly, I’m better able to dim the chatter.

I realise that when there is light and joy, instead of dread, in doing an action, then repeating the action is much much easier.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆𓂃 ོ☼𓂃

All the things that I posted on Olio yesterday were grabbed within 30 minutes of posting. Speechless.

Today and tomorrow, people will come collect their items and that’s it! Contactless pickup and at a time convenient to them.

Best way to reduce waste.

Excited to find more things to give away.

Today, I decided something had to change. I decided to do tasks at home that future me would appreciate and benefit from.

1. Put up decorative cards and photos on the walls (I’m not a decorator, so this is huge for me)
2. Post items to give away on Olio (decluttering let’s gooo)
3. One more thing that’s too private to share, but I’m glad to start this process of healing and moving forward

Sunshine.

The best-est light.

I really dislike having artificial lighting in the daytime. It’s glaring, harsh and jolting to me.

If I could, I would wake by sunlight and end my day slightly after the sun sets. Circadian rhythm suits me great.

But because my life intertwines with others, I have to make do with artificial light in the daytime at home and in office environments.

I realised how much my body enjoyed the circadian rhythm when I travelled to Taiwan. There, the sun rose shortly before 6am, and set shortly after 6pm.

In Singapore, where I live, the sun rises shortly before 7am and sets shortly after 7pm. This is because Singapore adjusted its timezone.

In Taiwan, I relished how much more restful I slept and woke. How much I enjoyed sleeping and waking earlier. The days and nights felt longer, even though, it’s still the same 24 hours.

☀︎⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚

This is going to sound angsty, so bear with me.

Have you kept sending text messages (it could be via email or any messaging service) with someone and felt so exasperated? It’s usually because the messages are administrative and clarifications seem to be going nowhere. There’s not random chit chat going on here, it’s messages to complete a task.

An added layer of exasperation is when the person messaging me is within walking distance. We could have had clarified and ended this conversation in a matter of minutes, but the person prefers messaging.

Also, I’ve received reasons like, “oh I didn’t know you were busy, so I message you first.” Valid. Until 10 messages in and my replies are immediate, so… for sure you’ve interrupted what I was doing and now have my undivided attention. My “busy-ness” is now you.

Admittedly, I should have gone over to speak to that person. After 10 back-and-forth messages, I don’t want to talk to the person anymore and have decided to be busy with something else.

Until I calm down, then I’ll re-engage, or ask for a call.

So if this happens to you, now you know.

¯_(ツ)_/¯

Spent some of my SkillsFuture money on a RepairKopitiam one day workshop, Handyman: Home Repair & Maintenance.

Practical skills that I learned:

1. Change two types of locks, one usually used on bedroom doors and deadbolt, usually used on main doors.
2. Make cement and cement tiles down.
3. Make grout and grout tiles.
4. Safely drill through tiles, metal, wood and concrete.
5. Adjust cabinet hinges (crucial as hinges will loosen over the years).

It was fun! My first time handling a drill and learning how to handle it safely made me more comfortable using it.

Class size was 24pax, and we did some group work. I was thankful to have only 3pax in my group and the two guys in my group were very supportive. The instructor was a very chill retiree, so class moved at a pretty chill pace.

I’m going home to adjust some cabinet hinges. (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Note: Perhaps because some SkillsFuture money is expiring end 2025, so there’s a rush of people applying for RepairKoipitam’s courses. Getting into Nov and Dec 2025 courses was like rushing to get popular concert tickets, and after talking to other attendees, they had the same experience as me.

Attended AlterCOP30 in Singapore. It’s been awhile since I attended events and I’m glad to restart by attending a sustainability one. My first dip into this industry.

I want to be open-minded, optimistic and practical when attending this conference.

I loved that instead of a buffet with disposables, they served lunch in:

1. Reusable containers and cutlery.
2. Had separate bins for food waste.
3. Cutlery and crockery were collected back in bins for washing and reuse.

Bestest!!

This respite has been really doing me good. It’s taken me three months to really sink into enjoying my time and space. I had to self-soothe myself a lot, especially not getting financially stressed.

I’m finding enjoyment in being reflective and creative. By starting off writing and posting slightly unhinged LinkedIn posts. Unhinged in my opinion. My first post happened in a half-reckless state of abandonment, “aiya who cares, I’m unemployed anyway.” I was shocked at the views and reactions on the post. So I decided to post another the next day, in my own style.

And, a few days later, I am still posting. My aim is to post on LinkedIn every weekday. I have faith in my tornado of ideas continuously swirling in my brain. There will be something to write, without having to resort to some click-bait or trending topic.

Listened to Simone’s Seol’s podcast on The Garbage Post Challenge. 100 pieces of content in 30 days with only TWO criteria: In English and something that you created. So I’m doing it. Let’s goooo!

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Life skills necessary:

1. Distinguish right from wrong.
2. Distinguish who are ethical and moral people.
3. Follow ethical and moral people.

Else, what is wrong becomes right >.<

Sidenote: I acknowledge that there are versions of right and wrong. I’m referring to fundamental issues. Like, no lying, stealing, killing, etc.

Who am I posting irreverent, humourous and heartfelt LinkedIn posts?! Three of them consecutively!

I was feeling quite unhinged when I wrote and posted them. The writing felt like a FLOWWWW. The words had to come out. They were inside me FAR TOO LONG!

It feels good.

The joy of writing.

The coalesce of thoughts that used to pop in and out.

Writing combined with doing some “art” in Canva.

Breakfast has always been such a CHORE! At home, it was easier for me to eat nothing for breakfast. I didn’t like cold food in the morning, e.g. yoghurt with oats (yay fibre!) and I really don’t want to spend time cooking too much aka frying eggs. Nani?!

So I finally settled on pouring hot water into rolled oats (not instant oats) and adding sugar. It’s kinda uninspiring and not very appetising, but it sufficed.

I did feel that rolled oats didn’t keep me full for long, but I thought it was because I ate too little of it. This meant that I was dang hungry BEFORE lunch. Boo. A friend told me that this was true for her too, so I thought, maybe this isn’t the breakfast for me.

When my TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) doctor suggested I eat an egg for breakfast, I groaned inwardly. Hard boiled egg tastes BLEURGH to me and I wasn’t keen on too much cooking effort. Until a Tiktok video showed people cooking cracked eggs in the microwave.

THAT WAS AMAZING! It took some trial and error, and… now I’m happy as a clam eating egg for breakfast. The egg looks like an omelette and is very slightly runny. From egg out of fridge, beating it, adding salt and pepper, microwave, all adds up to 5 minutes. Another 5 minutes for me to eat it. 10 minutes of breakfast and my belly is satisfied!

I can have this before heading to office next time, or even make it in office!

SLAY! *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚